Friends

Left to right: Mom, Laurie Hunt, Jan Arnold, Judi Derks, Karen Ferbezar

One of the few requests my mom had for her memorial service was that at some point, Bette Midler’s song “In This Life” would be played. It is a beautiful song, and the lyrics meant a lot to my mom.

In This Life – Bette Midler

For all I've been blessed with in this life,

There was an emptiness in me.

I was imprisoned by the power of gold

With one kind touch you set me free.

Let the world stop turning,

Let the sun stop burning,

Let them tell me love’s not worth going through.

If it all falls apart,

I will know deep in my heart,

The only dream that mattered had come true;

In this life I was loved by you.

For every mountain I have climbed,

Every raging river crossed,

You were the treasure that I longed to find.

Without your love, I would be lost.

Let the world stop turning,

Let the sun stop burning,

Let them tell me love’s not worth going through.

If it all falls apart,

I will know deep in my heart,

The only dream that mattered had come true;

In this life I was loved by you.

I know that I won’t live forever—

But forever I’ll be loving you.

Let the world stop turning,

Let the sun stop burning,

Let them tell me love’s not worth going through.

If it all falls apart,

I will know deep in my heart,

The only dream that mattered had come true;

In this life I was loved by you.

Left to right: Laurie Hunt, Mom, Jan Arnold

I think, to her, this song was about everyone she loved, but mostly about her friends. Mom had an enviable group of girlfriends with enough character to star in their own reality show. These women are the family my mother chose to love. I barely remember a time when they weren’t part of our lives, but I do know that her life was changed by them.

I think most women feel a need to connect with other women. I could get pretty philosophical here, but I think it is a healthy desire within us to form these bonds of sisterhood.  There is strength in numbers, and my mom found so much strength in her friends. They formed a circle around her and held her up until she found the courage inside herself. Their encouragement and love is definitely part of the reason why I was able to spend so much time with my mom over the past 4 years. I spoke of Time earlier as a fleeting, nonlinear frustration, but really, I am so grateful for the time I had with her, the connections we've all made with one another, and the strength I hope I inherited.

Girlfriends singing "Delta Dawn" at Mom's 50th birthday party. Left to right: Laurie Hunt, Mom, Waive Morgan, Karen Ferbezar, Judi Derks, Babs Huebner