My Mother's Strength (Part 1)

Mom and Dad dancing at my wedding, September 4, 2010

I have been wanting to write this since the beginning of this blog, but I am having a lot of trouble with it.

Why did I name this blog "My Mother's Strength?"

There are a lot of reasons, but one of the bigger ones is that I think so many people, including myself, can learn a lot from the way my mom dealt with her disease, and essentially, her life, as it became more and more a part of who she was.

Cancer doesn’t just grow in your body; it grows in your entire essence. When it metastasizes, like it did with my mom, it wasn’t just in her lung, bones, brain, and liver; it was in her soul. It became who she was. She was no longer Kristie, wife of Kyle, mother of twins, business owner, church member; she became Kristie, cancer patient, wife of Kyle, mother of twins, business owner, and church member.

I think at first, she fought the idea of cancer being part of her identity as much as she fought the actual disease. But eventually, she realized if she didn’t want to be defined by her illness, she needed to meet it most of the way.

After a friend of mine’s mother passed away when her triple negative breast cancer spread to her brain, my mom got really scared. Then she got mad. She found the drive to find another way. She knew chemo made her too sick to go on, and her doctor at KU was not receptive to alternative treatments (or positive thinking, for that matter), so she decided to look elsewhere.

She read books and read about cancer as a cellular process, not just a disease or a tumor to be removed. She learned the ways in which our bodies permit or even promote the growth of these cells, and decided to fight the cancer with everything she had – her entire life.

She learned about the Block Center for Integrative Cancer Treatment in Chicago, Illinois after reading a book written by the founder, Dr. Keith Block. After visiting their website and talking with her insurance company, my mom decided to go to the Block Center. This was a decision I will always be grateful for.

At the Block Center, she was treated with concern and respect, and everyone loved her. She was given supplements and vitamin infusions before, during, and after chemotherapy to help her body handle the dangerous toxins chemo drugs contain. She was told she needed to make drastic changes in order to live. She made them.

She began a vegan (except for certain fish), bleached and processed flours and sugar-free diet. It was maybe the hardest thing my mom ever did. However, it changed everything, and she lived.

She continued chemo for years, and fought the cancer hard. She started practicing Yoga, having laser therapy to deal with her uncomfortable and scary neuropathy, and even having her chakras aligned regularly. She started exercising daily and even worked with a personal trainer, and for the first time in her life, found control over her weight – something that had plagued her for her entire adult life.

And she prayed. And you prayed. And you sent positive thoughts and love. And she lived.

We had at least three more Christmases than we were supposed to. She was able to attend my wedding and see Kassie’s dreams come true with her career and meeting and getting engaged to Travis.

When people say that my mom “lost” her battle with cancer, I want to correct them – she lived longer and better than anyone ever expected or even dared to hope for. And because of that, she was able to inspire us and teach us what it really means to be strong.